Knowing the qualities of a true friend is so incredibly important.
Think about the times you’ve had “frenemies.”
The kind of people where they’re nice to you one day, and then for some unknown reason, they’re mean to you the next.
It can be so frustrating trying to determine people’s moods, or figuring out if you were the one who caused the distance.
But then there are those people where it just works.
They’re kind, they’re thoughtful, and they completely accept you.
There isn’t some underlying feeling of angst after you make plans to meet up.
One of the best ways to get more of these types of people into your life is to understand the qualities of a good friend.
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What Are the Qualities of a True Friend?
Whether you want to…
- Replicate those good friendships you’ve had before
- Or, replicate the ones you have now
Then one of the best things you can do is to fully understand what qualities those friends might have.
And if you’ve never had healthy friendships, then I’ll guide you through some helpful advice on the qualities of a good friend.
I believe that you deserve to have people in your life that care for you.
It’s a great place to level, up and make this part of your life that much better.
So let’s get you to have good friends that are there for you!
1. They Respect Your Time
Do you ever have that friend who’s always late, and you’re feeling frustrated because you could have been relaxing at home, but instead, you’re waiting for 2 hours at a coffee shop?
Look for people who show you respect when it comes to thinking about your time.
Those are the thoughtful kind of friends who will probably take better care of you in general.
More Good Reading:
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2. They’re Encouragers
They’re not taking tiny (or big) stabs at you.
They’re finding ways to encourage you and lift you. So do not make excuses for anyone who does the opposite. You deserve better!
And if you’re going through hard times, they’re finding ways to be there for you, not ghost you. They’re looking for ways to be kind and helpful.
One of the qualities of a good friend is they encourage you to be your best self. So whether you’re struggling to make the right decision on something, or you’re not being kind to yourself, they’ll help re-centre you on what’s important.
3. They’re Trustworthy
One of the qualities of a good friend is they are trustworthy.
I remember hearing someone say, “If they’re talking about other people behind their backs, they’re probably doing the same to you.”
And it is SO true. I’ve caught someone who I thought I was close to, talking behind my back, and it was one of the worst feelings (ever).
So look for someone honest with you, and communicates with good intentions. They’re not discussing your flaws with other people, and they’re not condescending. You know that they’re being real, but not cutting you down.
Also, if you know that they’re safe for sharing your fears, secrets, and any other vulnerable emotions, then keep them around. They’re worthwhile.
4. They’re Givers
I have some qualities of a good friend who is an incredible giver.
They touch my heart all the time, and it makes me want to give back as well!
Find people who have a good heart, and want to give in the relationship. I’m not saying that your friends have to be giving ALL the time, but it should be a good friend quality to look out for.
5. They’re Good at Communicating
One of the most important things in any relationship, not just romantic, is to have good communication.
Misunderstanding happens ALL the time! Also, you’re both humans, which means that you’re both going to do things to rub each other the wrong way. So make sure to look out for people who are fine with communication, and don’t let things sit until it’s too late.
6. They’re Loyal
I feel that this one is a given; a lot of people say it, but it is important.
Good friends are going to accept, and be there for you, during the good times and the bad. Whether you’ve done something that wasn’t the best idea, or you’re going through a difficult time, they’re there.
They just accept you.
Also, if you did make a bad decision, it doesn’t mean that they’re going to be ok with that. But they’re also going to understand that they’ve made mistakes as well, and they’re going to help you get through it.
7. They Have Integrity
If you see someone lying, or doing other small (or big) dishonest things, eventually they’ll end up treating you the same way.
It can be easy to think that you’re different from this person, that they do care about you. And while that might be true to a certain degree, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t going to be affected by their dishonesty.
When someone has a bad habit or bad beliefs, nearly everyone around them is going to be affected in some way.
8. A Good Friend is Dependable
Having a dependable friend is essential.
They’re someone who doesn’t flake but are there when they say they will be. You trust them with your private thoughts and rawest emotions. Also, it doesn’t matter if you’re you’re doing well or struggling, they’re just there.
A dependable friend isn’t just about words; it’s about their consistent actions that show they’re in it for the long haul. And while that doesn’t mean they’re going to be perfect at this, you know they’re going to do their best.
9. They Have Empathy and Understanding
You want to look for someone who has real empathy. Someone who chooses to understand what you’re going through, and what you’re feeling.
They’re not making it about themselves; instead, they’re focusing just on you, and what you’re going through.
Also, they’re the kind of friend who doesn’t just hear you out; they actively try to understand what’s going on in your head.
10. They’re Great Listeners
Finding a friend who is a good listener is incredibly important.
If you’re looking for a good friend, then you want to find someone who gives you the space to finish your thoughts, ask questions, and express how you’re feeling.
They’re not trying to interrupt, and get their thoughts and ideas in all the time. They’re just actively listening, and making you feel important.
11. They’re Confident
I honestly don’t think this is a quality many people think about, but I do believe it’s important.
And I’m not saying all of your friends have to be outgoing and confident, but this is something to look out for.
Having a friend who is comfortable in their skin, and around you, helps you to feel confident as well. Because when you see their confidence, and they’re encouraging you to put yourself out there more, then you’re going to feel a whole lot better taking on different things in life.
12. They Can Make You Laugh
Again, I’m not saying that this one is necessary, but I do believe it’s good. ????
If you guys share a similar sense of humor, then this can be a great way to connect. But it’s also a good way to help you both get through the harder times. When you have a friend who helps you not take things more seriously than they need to be, suddenly life doesn’t feel as hard.
13. They’re Not Judgmental
You probably know those people who make you feel incredibly uncomfortable and bad about yourself.
And if you’re looking into the qualities of a good friend, then having someone in your corner who’s not judgmental, is very important.
You’re going to like being around them, and not feel a sense of dread or discomfort whenever you hang out.
14. They’re Checking Up On You
I recently had a friend thank me for asking them how they were doing, every time we talked. They appreciated the fact that I was taking an interest in their life.
Now this is NOT to brag in any way, but it stood out to me.
If you’re someone who doesn’t have people in your life who care about how you’re doing, then it’s time to filter those friends in.
Find people who care about you, and want to know how the different parts of your life are going. Find friends who care about you, and want to check up on you. It does matter.
15. They’re Low-Maintenance
Having someone who just wants to connect, and not hold grudges, is a great friend quality.
They’re not constantly looking for ways that you’re falling short, imagining what your true intentions are, or constantly bringing up drama about other people. All of that sounds so stressful.
They’re just there to be your friend and make your life a whole lot more positive.
16. They’re Kind and Respectful
They’re not looking for ways to downplay your experiences, they’re just kind and want to respect your thoughts and feelings.
They see you as an actual person, a human being, someone who is worthy of being heard. Not someone they have to control in some way.
17. They’ll Be Honest With You
Friends that tell you whatever you want to hear, aren’t good friends.
When someone’s not telling you the truth (in a healthy way), it’s never going to help you.
A good friend tells you the truth because they WANT you to succeed in every part of life. Not just make you feel good in the moment.
18. They Want You to Have Other Friends
If you want to know more about the qualities of a good friend, then this is a great one to think about.
There are going to be people who won’t want you to have other friends. They have their fears and insecurities, and they’re going to hold you back from having a true community.
So if you’re finding someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries when it comes to who you hang out with, stay far away from them.
They’re not worth the emotional drain.
19. They Handle Conflict in a Healthy Way
Having a friend who can healthily handle conflict, is a great quality.
If there’s conflict, they don’t make you feel like trash. Yes, they might feel hurt, but they want to work things out.
Also, if you have boundaries, they’re going to respect them, not try to constantly test them.
20. They Support You Even When You Both Have Different Interests
It doesn’t matter if you both have the same hobbies or not, they just support you.
Also, they’re happy and willing to take part in your hobbies and interests as well!
Essentially, they’re making what’s important to you, important to them because they genuinely care for you. It’s not just about them, and what they want to do.
21. You Feel Good After Spending Time With Them
Another great way to know if someone is a good friend is to notice how you feel after spending time with them.
Do you feel drained, stressed, frustrated, irritated, and/or hurt? Or do you feel relaxed and comfortable? Do you look forward to seeing them again very shortly?
Be mindful of your feelings, they’re going to tell you a lot!
